During a wedding of 2 water scout executives on April 2, 1968, I received a gigantic blow in the face with an oar; After the necessary operations I continued to suffer from facial pain, but unfortunately also from more and more neck complaints. Since I had now finished the treatment, I just had to live with it. That was easier said than done. I have consulted and tried an endless list of doctors and medications but nothing helped. Regarding the complaints in my neck, I was always told that I had received the blow in my face and not in my neck, in other words, don't complain.
During a wedding of 2 water scout executives on April 2, 1968, I received a gigantic blow in the face with an oar; After the necessary operations I continued to suffer from facial pain, but unfortunately also from more and more neck complaints. Since I had now finished the treatment, I just had to live with it. That was easier said than done. I have consulted and tried an endless list of doctors and medications but nothing helped. Regarding the complaints in my neck, I was always told that I had received the blow in my face and not in my neck, in other words, don't complain.
There were several people waiting at that walk-in and I was getting more nervous by the minute. But when it was my turn, there were 2 people who immediately understood that I was not complaining or acting out at all, but was actually in pain that would not go away. I was invited to a morning of the peer contact group. My presence there really felt like a warm blanket. In the autumn of 1999 I attended the course: “learning to live with pain”. It turned out that I still had quite a lot to learn.
In 2000 I attended the “Drawing on your own strength” course. I really learned a lot from these courses. When I was asked in 2001 if I wanted to become an executive member of Pijn-Hoop, I did not dare for a while. At the beginning of 2002, I slowly changed tack and have now been a manager for 15 years and, together with Anne Moen, I organize the peer contact group and the drop-in hours in Arnhem and Velp.
The power of a peer contact group is that the fellow sufferers feel understood and safe. By working with a theme related to chronic pain, the problems associated with chronic pain become much better and often easier to discuss. It is recognizable to everyone and people also recognize the problems. The mutual bond in the group is very strong, so we learn a lot from each other and can support each other. We often hear from people who have attended a peer contact for the first time: “I wish I had known this earlier”, myself included.
What I learned at Pijn-Hoop is: stay positive, enjoy the things that are still going well and don't grieve for what has passed. And start, or better said, at least try to enjoy the day ahead every morning.
Despite my balance problems, I can say that I am currently standing firmly, gratefully and happily on my feet in life. I am an optimist by nature and have learned that almost any difficult situation can be over or understood much more quickly if you look at it with humor. My grandmother always said: “When it rains misfortunes, use your smile as an umbrella.”
I'm actually always busy. However, I regularly have to make sure that I have to slow down my pace, otherwise things will go wrong. But distraction is the best remedy for chronic pain, it does not go away, but largely fades into the background and then you are busy with fun things and not with your pain.
I also provide information for the APCG (Arnhem Platform for the Chronically Ill and Disabled) (preferably at primary schools) about what life is like with a disability. My greatest passion is collecting and restoring porcelain dolls and then dressing them in historical clothing from the period 1500 to 1900; but I also enjoy working with my grandchildren.
Monique Düppen
